Stories & Achievements: Renai’s Story

Renai’s story: Telling it like it is

Renai is a member of our Community Education Team (CET).  She shares candidly with us much of what she shares in her presentations about life after ABI.

Tell us about the incident that lead to your brain injury?

I was 17 going on 18 and in the prime of my life, ready to go out and enjoy my life.  I was going away for a weekend with my boyfriend at the time and we had both had too much to drink.  The decision we made then was that the one who had drank the least amount of alcohol would drive.  So now I am sorry we did that in such a way because we had a car accident and hit what I am assuming was a tree.  I got the raw end of this and now live my life with brain damage twenty four hours a day.  I had to learn to live my life all over again.  I found myself recovering in ward 24B of Lidcombe hospital. I don’t remember much about my accident – just that it happened. Anything to do with my childhood is now a complete blank because of it, including my schooling.  

How does your ABI impact your daily life?

My acquired brain injury impacts my daily life, making it harder to live due to being in pain constantly. My memory bank is out of wack, and I often can hardly remember what I am supposed to be doing that day.  For example, last week  I walked back and forth four or five times in my house just trying to remember what I went inside for.  I wish my brain injury never happened because it is thoroughly annoying living this way, I would much rather be out earning a living and being able to work to earn a decent wage rather than a small amount of money each fortnight on the pension as feeding a family isn’t easy.  I had my son after my injury. 

I have been engaged twice and married once after my accident. My son now has a son of his own, making me a grandmother. I am no longer with my husband.  Being a mother was difficult with only the use of one side of my body that is able to be used because of the way my brain was affected.  My brain damage gives me constant headaches every day. Just remembering what I have to do on that is hard enough. My brain isn’t equipped enough to tell me what to do every day, so I am likely to do something the complete opposite  to what I was originally doing. Sometimes my brain doesn’t think straight. 

What rehabilitation have you required?

The doctors and nurses in the hospital where I was helped me to do a lot of the things.  They helped me walk, talk, cook and read.  I had to learn how to walk and talk again. Before my accident I was shy as anything.  After my accident I became really outgoing and so I talk to anyone and everyone, and it didn’t bother me in the least - whereas this may not be the best thing, as strangers can take you for granted in this position.

What are your goals and plans for the future?

Winning the lotto (ha ha ha!) and getting more money to survive. I have a dream to buy a house on the beach again as my first house I bought was at Redhead on the bluff before I sold it and now living on such a busy road I miss living at the beach. If COVID goes away one day I’ll plan to see my grandson again, but he would have to fly to me as I hate flying. 

What advice would you give young people about their future? (A question addressed to attendees of our CET talks, often road traffic offenders or sometimes schools.)

Live your future healthy and wise! And think about what you’re going to do before you do it and make a fool of yourself while doing it. Don’t drink and drive, drinking fruit juice is much better before you go out and if you have to drive a car.  Drive safely and short and sweet. 

What doe you like about your supports with Headstart?

Tuesdays and Saturday’s with Shane are great because he makes me laugh. Yeah, we get along really well and fortunately he is my new ‘fix it man’. 

I have fun with all of the support workers.  You’ve got to have a sense of humour at my age!  I’ve been with Headstart from the beginning, 1987. Pat wa supported me from the word go and she still supports me on a Monday.  Pat’s just come back from holidays... she missed me and I missed her!

Without Headstart I’d probably be lying around more and I’d probably be sleeping more.  Some mornings the CSW’s come out and they help me with mopping the floor and vacuuming. I like to go shopping. I’m a shopaholic, that’s the unfortunate part about it. I love shopping but I hate walking.  It’s agonizing pain when I walk you see.  But thankfully I can think all right. I love having a spa because it gets rid of all the aches and pains. Down at the hydro pool, usually.  

It takes two to tango!

It has been such an honour getting to know Renai over the last year.  Since day dot Renai has gotten me into fits of laughter on shift with her wicked sense of humour.  Renai’s ability to find the joy and humour in every situation is so refreshing to be around and I cherish the moments I get to see her push herself through the pain, or the days where motivation is running low.  It has been so inspiring to watch Renai on her journey and to be a part of her team. She  is an incredibly strong and independent woman and that shines through in every way.  I look forward to every shift with Renai and am always surprised she can still manage to give me a belly ache from laughing so hard.  Cheers Renai, you little legend! 

 - Lucy (Support Worker) 

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